It was a dream come true
and a nightmare all at once
in the space of a week
and I’ve been trying to make the nightmare part
go away
to say I’m so at peace with it
that it was a learning experience,
that I’ve grown so much
and to wipe away the part that’s horrific.
but on some level I also mean it
it was quite impressive
the way that he did it<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Harry Houdini
closing the door on his life.
Closing the door on all of us,
mouth bound, hands tied,
then appearing on the other side
that silly, big grin on his face saying,
Look everyone, I did it! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s been nearly a year
the healing has felt like forever
And yet it’s only the beginning,
just the start
of how long, how far, how wide
I’ll be missing you
Diana Ross put it so well
I’ll be singing for you, singing with you too
I mean it when I say it’s been beautiful
to live with open eyes
but still I don’t know how I’ll cope
if anyone else that I love dies
I am full to the brim with grief for you,
always
I do not think I could possibly hold any more
but by now I understand
that in all likelihood,
there’s a very good chance
that I would be \u2013
will be \u2013
surprised<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I see you happy with it,
eating dinner with others like you,
other people I’ve loved before you.
Having a banquet, living in luxury
with Virginia Woolf
Looking out for me,
Gulping down the feast,
Smiling with your eyes<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It was a dream come true
\nand a nightmare all at once
\nin the space of a week<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[39],"class_list":["post-340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-grief"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=340"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":341,"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340\/revisions\/341"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=340"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=340"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/diary.katemcaleer.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=340"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}