Blinked awake
with my chin turned up
braced against the shadow space
between the ceiling
and my bed
where all my fears
were lingering menacingly
With my teeth clenched
I wake up
ill-rested:
tired from eleven rounds of
unconscious fighting
With my eyes open
I smell victory
in the finale
In my mind I run circles around
the dark,
the trailing laces of my gloves
tie us both all up in knots
With my hands tied, jaw clenched,
heart pounding, suddenly
I see myself
from where the shadow resides
I look down with love
from that space
between the ceiling
and the bed
I am too wired
to give up the fight entirely
but there is another –
an altogether more disruptive –
opportunity:
to lean into the punch
and feel the weight
of what the dark
has in store for me
So although I didn’t get the belt
and – it’s true –
I lost a few of my teeth,
I will retire to my corner
to a life of happy obscurity
fluffy towels (thrown in)
and deeply peaceful sleep
I will not be undefeated champion
or even sports personality of the year
but since I have leaned into the punch
I am not scared of the dark
I do not brace for impact
and I can dream without fear