the process

I’m not sure whether I’m doing well
or doing wrong
but I’m starting to accept

I’m not sure whether I’m doing well
or doing wrong
but I’m starting to accept
that I’m doing okay

I’m not sure whether I want
my head full of poetry
or empty of worries
to have both seems preposterously optimistic

I try to watch the words as they come
welcome them and then
wave them off
hello angst, oh hi inferiority, hey guilt, back so soon?

In moments of clarity I am able
to make my peace with them
and for the rest, it’s either shallow breaths
or writing poems